McArtists
◊ Dean and I saw SuperSize Me the other day. (You should see it; it's hilarious and it's got loads of art by Ron English, who makes an appearance in the movie.) We thought we were being incredibly funny when we snuck a mondo-hugeness-sized container of french fries from McDonald's into the theater with us.
"We are such cunts," I said to Dean as we licked salt from our fingers. We left the flattened container delicately perched at eye level on top of a thermostat-thing just inside the theater doors.
An employee of the theater where we saw the movie just came into Dean's work and said that after practically every showing of the movie, the theater is full of McDonald's packaging and wrappers. McDonald's, instead of being hurt by the movie, is apparently making a lot of money off snarky cunts with sophomoric senses of humor.
This does not include Dean and myself, as our McD's trash was placed with care and consideration that elevated the act to the level of art. Plus I just went vegetarian again and have been riding a bike instead of driving and am going to set up a compost heap, so I am a better person than you are, or at least I have been for the two days I've adhered to this new lifestyle. And since I'm better than you, you can't make fun of me.
Not even for being a hippie, because dammit, I am not a hippie. I wash regularly and I've got shaved legs and pits and everything, so you just shut the hell up already and leave my brown corduroy flares out of it.