Paddy-cake
◊ Happy St. Patrick's Day. I am not wearing green.
I've done this every St. Patrick's Day since I was 15: I deliberately wear absolutely no items of green clothing, no green accessories, no green nothing, just waiting for someone to shriek "You're not wearing green!" and try to pinch me.
Then I punch them. Hard.
Try it. You'll like it, I promise.
Anyway. I must don my thick-rimmed glasses, black coffee, turtleneck and pointed goatee, and get back to those deep thoughts I've been thinking all day. It's serious work, that. I am generating some life-altering, incredibly challenging philosophical theories, devoting my life to the advancement of human knowledge, and not even remotely sitting around in my underwear and watching Spongebob Squarepants while eating frosted mini-wheats straight from the bag.