Arlette

What, me worry?

◊ Man alive, there is nothing more fun to do than fill out silly online quizzes when you're at the computer and you should be moving boxes and you wanna have sex but can't because 1) your boyfriend is off Being Responsible and Getting Stuff Done and making sure his cat isn't donning a beret and machine gun and striking that Che Guevara pose on posters and plotting a coup so she can overthrow the apartment regime and order the roommates-now-helpless-captives to pry the lid off the cat food bin, and 2) there are people moving boxes from your old place to your new place so both places are temporarily out of comission as love nests unless you feel like stealing your boyfriend away from work and having sex with him in front of your dad, which I don't, thank you.

And I'd really appreciate if you all would stop stealing my boyfriend away from work and having sex with him in front of my dad. My dad's starting to complain about it.

Though the boyfriend is staying ominously quiet on the subject.

To the quiz!

Let's deconstruct what the quiz has to say about my personality:

I relentlessly pursue short-term pleasure at the expense of those around me and myself. I'm too assertive, too antagonistic and too insensitive.

Like I give a fuck!

It also says my variant is "sexual," which means my focus is supposed to be on pleasure instead of my own security or the welfare of other people.

Seeing as my greatest ambition right now is to get loads of money so I can buy a boat and do nothing but have sex, drink, read, listen to music, fish, swim, write, target-shoot, and barbeque, I'd have to say they're right.

I'm still figuring out how I'm going to fit a firing range on the yacht.