Year in review
◊ In 2003, I:
- Shot and killed four ex-husbands and buried them out in the desert.
- Ate too much chocolate.
- Had sex with at least 16 different species of non-primate.
- Got a blog. Again.
- Learned how to simultaneously kill a human and win a chess game in only three moves.
- Learned to drink and smoke.
- Lost 30 pounds by getting that giant tumor on my head removed.
- Threw a decent party.
- Broke up with someone, got a job (again), got together with someone. (That's right, I'm taken! I know how sad you all are to find out. If you're so distraught that you're thinking of committing suicide, remember, the line forms to the left.)
- Taught my pet camel to weed the garden.
- Bought a lot of CDs I couldn't afford.
- In a fit of dyslexia, sacrificed several babies to Santa.
- Fell in love with Tom Waits and fell back in love with Radiohead.
- Died in a horrific car accident.
I hope 2004 is equally exciting in slightly less traumatizing ways.