Signage
◊ 2004 will be a Year of the Monkey.
1980, the year I was born, was also a Year of the Monkey.
This means I am a monkey girl.
According to the zodiac calendar I got from the local Chinese restaurant I've been going to all my life, I am "very intelligent and able to influence people. Good politician. Thirsty for knowledge. Talented and inventive."
But the box the thing came in urges me to "ENJOY CHNESE TASTE" in big letters on the front, so the copy editor in me says that maybe I shouldn't rely on it too much for guidance.
I'm also a Sagittarius, which I guess makes me happy-go-lucky squared. I usually don't pay much attention to stuff like that, except for cherry-picking the bits I like — Sagittarius tends to be very intelligent, impulsive, seriously horny, a good talker, relentlessly curious and a terrible liar — and ignore the rest.
But even the happiest monkey has her serious days.
Seeing the new editor board today, I realized that the old guard is gone now. I've been working side-by-side with some of the same people for six or seven months and I can't even imagine what it'll be like working without them. It's not that this new set is bad, they're just different. And it's not like the old editors are really gone, since I'll still hang out with them and they'll probably show up at the news room to pitch in on the paper or just make fun of us, but they won't be suffering down in the salt mines with me anymore.
During the ed board meeting I kept staring into space, thinking about where the last year has taken me. I'm not proud or happy about all of it, but I would never change it. I have hurt more this year than I ever have in my life, but I have also had more fun than I thought was humanly possible. I've also learned there's a lot more to me than I ever gave myself credit for.
I've learned too much about myself to give up any of it.
Not that forgetting any of it was an option. I mean, sure, I could consume dangerous amounts of hallucinogens and swap this reality for a simpler and more visually entertaining one, but I think that's better as a recreational kick and not a state of living.