Arlette

The cheesecake cure

◊ If you are feeling dull and lifeless and low on inspiration, try my solution:

1. Mope and drink a lot of beer and watch TV with the sound off and listen to Tom Waits.
2. Get bored.
3. Stock the CD player with hyperactive noise-pop.
4. Observe how grimy the kitchen is and realize you don't have to clean it if you don't want to! All it can do is get messier.
5. Think about how much you'd like to stick your tongue in Johnny Depp's mouth.
6. Think about fucking.
7. Eat a lot of cheesecake until you get hyper and find yourself hopping across the living room with your hands in the pockets of your hoodie.

That's my solution, anyway.