Birthday / earwax anthem
◊ Today is Owen's birthday. If you run into him today, take his pants off and spank him, then buy him a drink. He's going to resist the drink, but insist on it. Tell him it's traditional.
I bought Q-Tips! Or generic cotton swabs. This is actually sort of exciting when you haven't been able to properly clean your ears for two months because you've been too broke or forgetful to buy traditional ear-cleaning equipment and have been trying to excavate your ears with bobby pins or rolled-up wads of toilet paper.
But I did it! I bought cotton balls, sponges, Q-Tips and a flat of diet cola. It probably looked like I was going to drink all the soda, get seriously wired, and clean the fuck out of my ears.
Which is exactly what I did, actually. I burned right through two Q-Tips trying to scrape the gunk out of my ears. New and exciting vistas of earwax, I tell you. Look into it.