I (heart) Irvine Welsh
◊ Ye want tae feel like a right cunt, try readin bits ay Trainspotting oot loud tae yirsel n tryin tae do all ye can tae beat doon yir northairn califoornian way ay speakin' whin ye dae.
I am nowhere near ballsy enough to actually record my bad impression of a Edinburgh accent. It's not that I'm afraid of the act, per se, but I know how it goes with these goofy internet things. If I did it, in no time at all I'd have a massive online cult devoted to me, like with that girl from the Macintosh 'Switch' ad or the Star Wars kid. And I really don't need that. I already have enough paparazzi as it is, and I'm tired of people swarming around me when I'm in public so they can get my autograph or touch my hair.
Sorry to disappoint.
I must brave the sticky interior of the fridge, and I have only one beer left. Sad. So sad. This life? It is not worth living.
Now I must go drag my own weight in beer bottles down to the recycling bin.