Rebel rebel
◊ I do not want to cooperate.
I do not want to take a shower or do laundry or put socks on my feet that are not offensively smelly like the ones I am wearing now.
I do not want to be polite to my boss.
I do not want to brush my teeth.
I do not want to roll my eyes and sigh at the stupidity of the dad in the Volvo picking up his kids from the school by my house. I want to rear-end him, jump out of the car, barrel up to the driver-side window, scream "So ya think driving a Volvo is gonna keep you SAFE, huh?!" and shoot him in the head, right in front of his very young children.
I do not want to apologize.
Wanna hear something disgusting? No? Too bad. If you've been thinking that piercing your tongue is all kinds of fun and not even remotely gross, think again. Think of these two words:
Tongue boogers.
And if you think piercing your tongue is totally disgusting and sounds fantastically painful, think about this:
It's amazing. It's better than Nutella. It's better than sex.
It's even better than shooting some hapless fuck in a station wagon.