Please forgive me
◊ Unintentional girly thoughts:
"I wish I were as skinny as I was when I first thought I was fat."
"Man, I love The Daily Show. And Jon Stewart is such a cutie! And he's the same height as me, and his birthday's two days after mine! And his favorite musician is Tom Waits! I'd so marry him. Let me see: Arlette Stewart ... Mrs. Arlette Stewart ... Mrs. Arlette Thibodeau-Stewart ... Mr. Jonathan Thibodeau. Hmm, I like that last one."
"Jesus, Candie's are slutty shoes. They make my legs cramp when I walk more than ten feet in them, but they make me walk like a cheap hooker and my legs look fabulous."
"OK, shirt looks good with the skirt. Now check in the mirror: Big eyes, chin down, one leg slightly forward like a startled deer. Good. Now feet apart, head to the side, glare at reflection. You're intimidating! You're sexy! You're a supermodel! If the Greeks had a punk rock goddess, you'd be it! Good! Now crank up "Young Americans" and vamp around the house, trying to hit all the high notes. Excellent! OK, now hide in the kitchen because I think the neighbors heard you."