Everybody? Everybody?
◊ Where ARE you people? I get back from Fresno-town and I have five messages. I start calling people back so I won't seem like a total asshole and I get: voice mail. Voice mail. Voice mail. Busy. Voice mail. Already doing something interesting. Voice mail.
Damn.
Guess this Saturday night I get to do the dishes. I already indulged in some extra-sexy cleaning around the house (Imagine me on the floor ... on all fours ... sweating hard ... and scrubbing. Oh yeah) and now the vast expanse of clean, shiny sink scares me whenever I walk into the bathroom. It's so alien.
When I was in Fresno, Dan went to Starbucks for some coffee. I waited outside with his little brother and smoked a cigarette. I felt all self-conscious for dirtying up Steve's nice pink lungs with my cancer-stick smoke, so I started talking.
"You ever smoke a cigarette before?" I said.
"Nope."
"Well, if you've never smoked, everyone's going to tell you not to start. They'll say 'Don't do it, it's a filthy habit.' So I'm gonna say something different: go ahead and smoke. Cigarettes are great."
"Uh...."
I don't think my sense of humor translates well to the under-21 crowd.
Blogspotting:
Check out Luke's blog. Luke is an editor at La Voz and is everything I am not: talented, wicked funny, motivated, and a master at writing headlines.
And male.
Also check out Owen's blog. He is another La Voz-er. This man is hilarious.
How hilarious? you ask. Well, there is only one answer: hella.
He's also a pyromaniac with poor impulse control and a taste for the hideously offensive.
He's my kinda folks.